Looking Back to Look Forward

A question that is often asked during a racial equity training goes something like this, “When was the first time you can remember meeting someone of a different race?” It’s a question and answer I think about often.

The first experience I had with someone of another skin color that I can remember was when I was in the hospital while I was in elementary school. I lived in Antioch, Illinois. Antioch is a small city about 47 miles Northwest of Chicago, predominantly white, and right on the Wisconsin border. If that city name feels familiar to you, it may be because Antioch was recently referenced in national news as the hometown of the anti-protester who shot and killed two people in the aftermath of Jacob Blake’s murder in Kenosha.

When I was in 1st grade, I needed my tonsils out and then developed an abscess so I needed some extra time in the hospital. I remember the younger black girl, her slim figure, her knee-length nightgown, and her braids. I remember walking the halls with her and playing with her in our hospital rooms. I don’t remember why she was there or anything about where she was from or her family. I only knew she was my new hospital friend and I found her different from me and fun. Looking back now, I wish I had known enough to have asked my mom to get her mom’s phone number or something. How might my childhood have been impacted if I had had at least one friend of color? How might my understanding of my privilege and the weight of racism developed differently? Faster?

I think about this experience a lot when I’m reflecting on my own children and their experiences with children and adults of other races. Already my children are having vastly different experiences because of their exposure to an immersion school that includes many teachers and friends of color, as well as frequent visits into more racially diverse spaces, be it restaurants, activities, parks, events, etc. We encourage observations, questions, and open discussion. We don’t want the topic of race and racism to be taboo. Those topics are always on the table and I can already see that my own children are far more advanced in their understanding of privilege and race than I was at the age of 7 or 10. Or even 25. And for this I am, we are grateful.

If you live in a predominantly white space, how do you ensure interactions with adults and children of color? Why is or isn’t this important to you and your family? How do you invite diversity of all kinds into your family life?